you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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