ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
