Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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