I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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