It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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