I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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