Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
