I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Drake has all the answers
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
