My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
