hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
