Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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