Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
