Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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