I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
