the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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