Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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