Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
