I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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