Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize