He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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