My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
