I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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