The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
