It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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