Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
