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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  Mom wtf!?

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.

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• (858): View more from California

  So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.

  (1-228): View more from Mississippi

  Probably on drugs.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I enjoy the company of your penis

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