Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
