He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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