I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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