is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
