WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
