The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Damn victory sex feels great
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize