Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
