Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize