Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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