I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
