There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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