he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
