I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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