you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
