were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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