Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
