He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
