respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just google imaged poop.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
