Where did you get a picture of my penis
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
high people should be assigned attendants
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
