1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
