hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
