spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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