she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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