If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
