dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
