It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
