As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
