3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
