I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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