Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
