I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
