the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
