Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
