Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If that was your dad, he is hot
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
