we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
