Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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