in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
