I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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