i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
