Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
